Judgement and Righteousness

 Just some metaphysical stuff that popped in my head about our attitudes of "judgement" and "righteousness".
Some people say they feel a greater presence, a greater purpose, something higher. They often call this God. I've felt this, stronger than most I'd say. But I don't place this presence in some paternal figure that watches over us, rather I see this presence and essence contained within each and every one of us. The forces that move us, our potential to fulfill our unique potentials and the intrinsic worth of life we carry within us. Together we form a collective consciousness, a being of its own made from our greatest faults and triumphs. This is the river, in which we're just drops of water. But the point I want to make here is that we have the choice to either fight or accept who we are, we take ultimate responsibility for our actions because we have to answer to ourselves. Putting an omnipotent man in the sky takes away that responsibility - it lets us judge others and justify our own actions. There is no right and wrong, it's a matter of opinion. If I end a gunman's life to save a child, I am not justified by a higher power or some morality - my actions are my own, and I'm willing to perform them without some moral claim because those actions embody who I am. Responsibility is daunting, and we naturally try to hang it on someone/something else - in this case, a set of morals laid out in a religious text. We're in no position to judge right or wrong, and trying to draw these lines is, I believe, a defense mechanism. We're worried that without set rules, anarchy would reign. The truth is, a lot of these rules have nothing to do with morals but instead promote the survival of our species - we don't need religion for our so-called "morals". You can pull very similar rules, minus the judgement and righteousness, from a very basic drive - survival. I don't think we should do away with religion, the weak and broken still need a place to find solace and hope, and I find it difficult to ask those in that state to undergo the self-transformation necessary to find strength of their own. We're human, and if we're broken enough a veil, or perhaps blanket, of safety, hope and purpose can be exactly what we need to avoid shattering before we can stand again. But we cannot expect to ever find true strength in the righteousness of religion, we cannot accept ourselves if we reach for someone else's idea of perfect. Those who hang their importance on a religious ideal, who justify their actions with it, can never stand next to one who takes full responsibility for their actions and embodies their true self. Religion isn't wrong, I find it beautiful in so many ways and it has helped make me who I am. But if you're looking to find your true self, you can't ever view religion in the same light. It's not that you have to reject its ideals and run from it - I've found myself living up to the vast majority of Christian morals. Not because they're right or wrong, but because it's who I am. It's who I want to be. I was raised Christian, and still consider myself one in many ways, but I don't believe in the "God" figure anymore. I feel the "Him" around me in nature when I close my eyes, from the smallest plant to the tallest tree. I see Him in every person I meet no matter how troubled, "good" or "evil" they may be. Once you realize you are not the judge of others, you start to understand them - you see their motives, what truly drives them in life and you choose to love them. You see that you're not justified in trying to make them something they're not. And maybe then you accept your own path, the true path that you've always known was there, and you do it for you. There lies some power this world has rarely seen, the kind that causes ripples in that river and changes the path of humanity. Without a God watching over me, without the conventional heaven, should I feel alone? The truth is I've never felt more surrounded by love and purpose in my entire life, and I believe our consciousness is not a light switch hinged on life and death. I love life, but I don't fear death. Change that was once hard now feels like a returning to self. And now I finally see my path, because I'm looking through my own two eyes. So with every chance I get, I want to end the mentality of judgement and righteousness that dominates our society and continues to hurt the people I love.

I previously mentioned a situation where I would have to take a life to save one. I want to go further than just saying that I wouldn't use a set of morals to justify my actions. When we use a set of morals to justify our actions we create an "I'm Right"/"You're Wrong" or "I'm Good"/"You're Evil" mentality. I say here and now that "Evil" is an illusion created to feed our moral justification and remove any feeling of responsibility for actions against it's forces and agents. It allows us to hate someone. I choose, when I look at that person I am compelled to stop, to choose empathy instead. Whatever drove them to do what they've done - circumstances or even who they are - are as real to them as the things that drive me in the archetypal "Good" direction. Instead of hate I choose empathy, understanding and love for a brother, a sister who acts true to what drives them in this life. I will not support them and I will likely oppose them, but I will never hate them. To do so would be to claim I am justified by some set of morals in acting against them. I am not. Just as they are, I am simply acting true to who I am. I will act against them and their actions, but I will do so by my own volition, ready and willing to bear any and all responsibility for my actions.

3/15

3/15

A house built on lies will never stand, and when it falls it will be on the shoulders of those who chose to live within it.

In stressing over whether or not they'll still love you, you may cease to become the person they love.

Drumbeat Within

3/12

The drums in the depths of my heart beat. No more do they resemble frantic splashing at the surface. They have become a tidal pulse, slow and rhythmic yet strong enough to command the ocean that is my heart and soul. These drums are not a call to war but a call to being, to awakening. The rhythmic roar fills my ears, moving my body with calm yet indomitable force. I am a marionette of my own making and my own control. My strings are not chains, but connections to my soul. I no longer struggle against the currents within me, frantically fleeing from the gravity of my purpose. I stride in my own footsteps, feeling the familiar worn ground beneath me, steadying myself in my stance. I feel the power flow into me, anticipation in my legs and electricity through my fingertips. With these hands I will move mountains, with this heartbeat I will wake up the world.

What it is to truly love life

3/11

Enlightenment may look like a complete detachment from all things, a complete containment of the world within oneself and the inability to interact with others on the same level.  To me, it represents a complete embrace (not just acceptance) and love of everything down to the atomic level. There is no longer a hindrance of human facades, of judgment; there is just understanding in an empathic manner so strong that there is no division between you and I. In the great river that is existence, I don’t believe we are definable rocks or entities. Instead I believe we are all of the same essence, responding to the unique currents and eddies within ourselves. I believe my personal path is to see the beauty in how the great flow of existence shapes our paths uniquely, embracing the loves, the desires, the paths of others (as long as they are true to who they are) as our own. Just pause. Even when you’re not listening, you’re subconsciously reacting to other people, judging them perhaps. Tone of voice, posture, attitude. For me, only by becoming completely aware of these can I teach myself to not judge, but instead embrace. And I find myself smiling as I see the way they are in life. It’s often said that enlightenment is the ability to love everything and anyone, though to me the caveat is that this love is not blind. Like true love for another person, it requires seeing someone in their entirety. I was reminded by a close friend recently that my own principles and the way I think people should be are something I cannot, if I desire enlightenment, apply to anyone else. This is because I am trying to change them, I am victim to the shallow mindset that my inner truths can become universal truths. Perhaps many are, and perhaps the realizations I come to could apply to someone else, but by pushing them upon other people I am actively saying that I don’t accept them as they are. Yet the questions arises: how are we supposed to help other people go through this catharsis if we aren’t allowed to share the answers we have found? To me, the most useful thing you can provide someone with is not an answer, but a question because only a question gives them the chance to find their path. Questions are indeed universal, and by asking them you invite others alone the path of enlightenment without defining it for them. For me it’s not about falling in love with “what” the universe is, but rather “how” the universe is. This distinction avoids loving the world based on how it treats YOU, and instead focuses on embracing the great currents of existence that are forever constant. I believe that after applying this distinction, enlightenment is forever. Bustling sidewalks, the cool breeze on my skin, the pain of my heart breaking. Failure, success, triumph, disaster. I aim to embrace this world for what it is – good, bad, wrong, right. Because they are all just currents in this great river, and we are all in this together. As One.